some label people came up with to try and define sapphic folks with a preference for women. it’s not around on tumblr a lot so i get the confusion but it’s a whole thing on twitter. the General WLW Consensus is that this harms both bi women (by saying that just being bi means you can’t have a preference) and lesbians (feeding into the stereotype that some lesbians will give men a chance)
I’m no authority on bi or lesbian stuff, especially as I am neither. You would be better of asking older queer people, especially ones who identify as bi lesbians, such as @vaspider. (Apologizes for bothering you, Spider. I just felt you might be better equiped to explain this.)
Bi lesbians, bi dykes, or bykes, are not a new thing, and the meaning of the phrase varies. A few (but not all) meanings!
“But bi lesbian/bi dykes are only a Twitter thing, no one in the real world has ever accepted that!”
“But bi lesbians are harmful to REAL lesbians because they invalidate bi women and make men think that they have a chance with…”
Wow, that’s some nice victim-blaming you’ve got going on, there. So dykes are responsible for the behavior of the men who attack and harass them and others? Are you going to ask what they were wearing next? 🙄
Why can’t you just identify as Sapphic, or bi, or straight? Oh, because that’s not who you are? Funny how that works for monosexual people but not m-spec people. 🤔
“That invalidates…”
No one else’s queer identity oppresses or invalidates yours, and the sooner you come to see the truth of that, the sooner you’ll stop playing into the hands of the people who would love us to splinter our community so they can easily do things like “take away marriage equality” and “strip LGBTQ people of the right to medical treatment.”
You know, the stuff they’re definitely already trying to do. So the sooner we stop putting our energy to eating our own and refocus it to fighting back, the better off we’ll be.
Anyway, bi lesbians have been around, we’re not a Twitter invention, and we’re not going anywhere.
some label people came up with to try and define sapphic folks with a preference for women. it’s not around on tumblr a lot so i get the confusion but it’s a whole thing on twitter. the General WLW Consensus is that this harms both bi women (by saying that just being bi means you can’t have a preference) and lesbians (feeding into the stereotype that some lesbians will give men a chance)
I’m no authority on bi or lesbian stuff, especially as I am neither. You would be better of asking older queer people, especially ones who identify as bi lesbians, such as @vaspider. (Apologizes for bothering you, Spider. I just felt you might be better equiped to explain this.)
Bi lesbians, bi dykes, or bykes, are not a new thing, and the meaning of the phrase varies. A few (but not all) meanings!
“But bi lesbian/bi dykes are only a Twitter thing, no one in the real world has ever accepted that!”
“But bi lesbians are harmful to REAL lesbians because they invalidate bi women and make men think that they have a chance with…”
Wow, that’s some nice victim-blaming you’ve got going on, there. So dykes are responsible for the behavior of the men who attack and harass them and others? Are you going to ask what they were wearing next? 🙄
Why can’t you just identify as Sapphic, or bi, or straight? Oh, because that’s not who you are? Funny how that works for monosexual people but not m-spec people. 🤔
“That invalidates…”
No one else’s queer identity oppresses or invalidates yours, and the sooner you come to see the truth of that, the sooner you’ll stop playing into the hands of the people who would love us to splinter our community so they can easily do things like “take away marriage equality” and “strip LGBTQ people of the right to medical treatment.”
You know, the stuff they’re definitely already trying to do. So the sooner we stop putting our energy to eating our own and refocus it to fighting back, the better off we’ll be.
Anyway, bi lesbians have been around, we’re not a Twitter invention, and we’re not going anywhere.
On September 6, 2020 feminist activists broke into the office of the
director of the national commission on human rights in Mexico City.
The action was taken in protest against a state that does nothing to
prevent the killing and rape of girls and women in Mexico
even better, they declared the building will be for female victims of violence (x)
We also need to tell queer teens shit. Here’s a list. I’m tired
-you don’t need to lose ur virginity at whatever age
-you don’t need to date the only other queer kid in ur school
-queer people can b problematic. And abusive.
- people who are queer in one way can still be queerphobic in another way (ex: wlw TERFs)
- it’s not cishets’ place to decide the right way to express your queerness
- it’s especially no one’s place to decide what’s too masculine or feminine for you
- gender presentation does not equal gender identity. You can look however you want even if it doesn’t “match” your gender
- there will always be an asshole gatekeeping and telling you you’re not queer enough. They are an asshole and should be ignored
- pedophiles still exist in the queer community
- the only person who decides when/if you come out to your friends and family is you
- people can be queer and still be queerphobic in THAT way. You internalize shit and that’s gotta be worked on.
- “Phases” are absolutely ok and are actually a natural part of exploring your identity. Don’t feel ashamed for changing and growing as you discover yourself, and don’t shame others for it either.
- There’s nothing wrong with ID’ing as Ace or Aro as a teen. The possibility of you being a “late bloomer” doesn’t invalidate how you feel right now, and please don’t feel like you need to push yourself outside of your comfort zone just to fit in or earn others’ approval.
- There’s no shame in staying in the closet if the closet is keeping you safe.
Stop saying “uneducated” when you mean bigoted. Stop saying “uneducated” when you mean racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist. Stop saying “uneducated” when you mean that somebody holds regressive beliefs. You can find bigots in mansions, trailer parks, suburbs, houses, and apartments. You can find bigots in ivy league universities, liberal arts colleges, vocational programs, and jobs. Bigotry of all kinds exists at all levels of our society and to pass off our structural inequalities and learned intolerances as simply a matter of poor education is to imply that the wealthy are more compassionate, more egalitarian, more valuable people.
